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autumn_mess

Apr. 6th, 2011

11:01 pm - Feeling Regina Spektor.

This song keeps me up at night. My mind twirls around the lyrics as I try to analize them. This has been going on all week. I love this song and I'm not sure why. I think its because I can relate to them. It makes me want to write, even though I'm not very good at it.
Anyways Regina Spektor Seems to be my inspiration right now. 
 
A Man of a Thousands Faces

By Regina Spektor

The man of a thousand faces
Sits down at the table
Eats a small lump of sugar
And smiles at the moon like he knows her
And begins his quiet ascension
Without anyone's sturdy instruction
To a place of no religion
Has found a path to our alikeness

His words are quiet like stains are
On a table cloth washed in a river
Stains that are trying to cover, for each other
Or at least blend in with the pattern
Good is better than perfect
Scrub til your fingers are bleeding
And I'm crying for things that I tell others to do without crying

He used to go to his favorite bookstores
And rip out his favorite pages
And stuff them into his breast pocket
And the moon to him was a stranger
Now he sits down at the table
Right next to the window
And begins his quiet ascension
Without anyone's sturdy instruction
To a place of no religion
Has found a path to our alikeness
And eats a small lump of sugar
And smiles at the moon like he knows her



Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic
Current Music: Regina Spektor

Feb. 21st, 2011

10:02 pm

*breaths deeply*
I can do this.

Sometimes its hard to understand my schedule. Its actually overwhellming. Maybe it would be better if I had a car. I'm just tired of finding rides and feel bad about it. My dad asked me when my next day off is. It's June 6th. Until then, assuming Theatre OAP is going to state, i'll be shuffling my rides around, stressing out about how i'm going to do things. Its like I want to have a life but I do have one. People without lives wouldn't have things to do like me.

Tuesday:
Band Practice 3-4
Theatre Practice 3:30 or 4:00 to 5:30 or 6:00(im not even sure)
Basketball Game with Dad for extra credit and 'Dad time' 5:00 till 8:00ish.

Wednesday:
Encore! Officer Meeting 7am till 7:20am
Theatre Practice 3:30 till 5:30

Thursday:
Theatre Practice: 3:30 - 5:30
Ovation Practice: 7:00 - 7:30
Ovation Solo Practice 7:30 - 8:00

Friday:
First Clinic for theatre
wait no practice yay!
Grades go in.

Saturday:
Solo and Ensamble UIL for Singing.

Sunday:
Stephen and I's 2 year Anniversary.

That's my schedule.

But yeah.
Also I decided to get Stephen a Watch for our anniversary, i'm not sure if he'll like it but its a $45 watch so he better.I'm just so nervous for Sunday, and I really don't know why.

And I can't stop thinking about him. I've been dreaming a lot about him, his mom and even his dogs. Not that thats a good thing or anything it just means if I lose him, I might just crash and burn. So I can't lose him.

These are just my thoughts for today.
I really should post more often.
Peace Out.

Current Mood: restlessrestless
Current Music: Hand In Hand - Explosions in the Sky

Jul. 5th, 2010

11:08 pm - Wishing for a dream

I want a dream.

I don't have a goal or a dream.

Some people train for gymnatists or some sport and it their life.

Some people are decated to music and doing their hardest to be better.

Some people like to act and learn all their line in a week because of decication.

I dont have that.

And i want to be good at something... not just good you know, i want to be decated to it, i want to love it.

I haven't found that.. at least not yet.

I like playing my clarinet.

I like acting.

I like singing.

But im not in love with it.

I want to be.
I need to be.

Tags: , ,
Current Mood: weirdweird
Current Music: Lost Prophets

Apr. 19th, 2010

10:31 pm - blank

I love her. <3 Thats all for now.

Current Location: a white empty room
Current Mood: blankblank
Current Music: eet- regina spektor

Jan. 8th, 2010

11:38 pm - singing

i was singing my solo in band today in a practice room since no one was in there and stephen comes in and i stop. i asked him " fine you can here me sing"

*sings*


Stpehen: O_O You. Have. The Most Beautiful Voice I've Ever Heard.

Ashley: *blushing*

Stephen: you have to sing to me a lot more now. its way to beautiful not to hear it.

Ashley: *RED FACED BLUSHING*

soo that made my day.

:D

Current Mood: surprisedsurprised
Current Music: The Water Is Wide "my solo"

11:29 pm

Well this week wasn't to terrible. it was shorter but seemed to take forever. Im NOT prepaired for finals...eh.. and also i didnt make call backs. bleh i hope i make tech then.
if not im getting a job.

hmmm.

driving 16 more days!!!! woot!

con of this weekend, spending time with my dad and tons of studing to do the pro to this weekend, STEPHEN! all day tomorrow!! yay!


whheeeee


ash

Current Location: buried under my mess
Current Mood: Backache
Current Music: none...odd to say that.

Dec. 31st, 2009

01:08 am - Ice Staking and cheese cake

Today i went ice skateing and stephen came with me. It was so cheesy holding hands and ice staking but it was soo amazing! i loved it! i felt like i was five again. we talked a lot about life and we then ate appitizers and red velet cheese cake and the cheese cake factory. It was great to be with him. One more day of 09 i cant wait to see what 2010 brings to me!

Dec. 29th, 2009

02:46 am - resolutions?

New years? My new years resolution is not to have a have new years resolution but that would be breaking my new years resoultion.
How does that work?








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I almost got a job at hot topic today. :)

Current Location: bedroom floor
Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: music

Dec. 27th, 2009

12:37 am - christmas

Christmas Eve!
This year was probably the best christmas i have had in a long time. Not many people know this but I get more excited for Christmas Eve than Christmas its self. So at Midnight Christmas eve i was asked to meet ALL of stephen's family on his dad side. I woke up at 8 exactly and sat down ate breakfast took a shower put make up on went down stairs and wait another 2 hours before we had to leave to go to stephen's. After impaitently and taking my time get ready i got really nervous. As for most of you know i get really bad anixety with nerves. I ended up just shaking a lot and fine. I arrived at his house. First person i see. Chris. His older brother. I was just sort of shocked because i was finally meeting him this was our meet. "hey i'm ashley" "hey whats up im chris" and stephen then steals me away. Oh and i saw his mom and i dont why but to see her warmed my heart only a mother could do. So she went out to talk to my dad and grandpa. As i walked in. Nervous and very quiet. I met his aunt and shes very nice, typical aunt nice and loves everyone and picks on her kids. :) I just sorta sat there akwardly on the couch next to stephen. it was also the first time i have even been in his house. I LOVE there windows! there huge! i know this sounds cheesy but i want the cullen house! and there back windows reminded me of it. the day goes on and i meet his uncle whos funny and grandmother whose sweet and it was like she already knew me. i hugged her. i dont know why but i did. "so this is ashley" i loved the way she said that. we bonded with the family and me and stephen ended but tickling eachother to the extreme and everyone was watching us and i didnt know until stephen said something. When im with him no one eles is in my world. if that makes any since. we opened presents and i didnt expect to get anything but i did! stephen gave me a card full of pictures from homecoming and pics of him and his brothers. I getting all of them Framed! any who we just spent the day with his family and oh i was put in the family picture! they said that it was going in our wedding ablum. i love being accepted.:] oh and me and stephen took pics together and his dad was amazed how well we looked together. :) the rest of the day we went to best buy and got stephen a new phone and he's happy with it! yay! hehe. then he got to spend christmas eve night with me. We decorated cookies together and got into an icing war. yum! haha. also we did eat the cookies but put some out for Santa. He met my grandpa and he Loves stephen!!!! omgosh he couldnt stop talking about him and also he gave him a 10 as a christmas gift. He gives all his grandchildern that and that a huge thing because he wants him to be in my life. YAY! we went to candle light service together and it was great to have him at my side praising God! This is the 4th anniversery of seeing a angel this christmas eve. I'll never forget that moment in my life seeing angels heard on high! Beautiful. After church we watched frosty the snowman and ate as a family around a table. Stephen that night experienced his first mexican party. I went to go see pancho claus at my dad's best friends house. I got a starbucks card from pancho claus. Hehehe. After walking with stephen in the cold wind and leaves swirling aroung me we took him home. It was the perfect christmas eve.

Christmas Day
I gots an ipod and camera was very suprised i got both.
But my favorite gift was all of the band together in a frame. The contest picture. All our hard work went into that and it makes me feel great im in that picture.

I got to see my cousins and the awful gift giving from my aunt and uncle was indeed awful, Pink sweatshirt with matching pink and whit shirt. They have no clue who i am.

Conclusion of the holiday season:
I got the three things i wanted.
1.Snow
2.Go see the Nutcraker
3. Experience a real family christmas.

I am happy with everything.

Tomorrow
or today now
its 10 months for me and stephen.
yay!
he has suprises waiting for him.
hehehe
i'll update tomorrow.
-ash-

Dec. 16th, 2009

09:58 pm - OAP tryouts

im almost to the point where im rocking back and fourth crying hystrically... OAP tryouts tomorrow......



i dont know my monologue, God please help me!!!


off to go memorize it....


D;

Current Location: Hiding
Current Mood: scaredscared
Current Music: soft christmas jazz

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